Simply; pray for me

Isn’t it ironical that the one place recommended for broken and wounded people accepts everyone but broken and wounded people?  When I was younger, I wanted to be the woman my mother and her friends were in church.  They loved people and served God with every thing they had. They prayed for each other, my mother in particular would effortlessly make any prayer an intercessory prayer. You might be at the table during dinner ready to bless the food and dive in and she suddenly starts praying for someone in church who is having an interview later that week. They didn’t need Whatsapp groups to keep in touch, some of them never even owned cellular phones back then yet they were always spiritually in tune. I wanted that! 

Well,  now I am scared of being broken or wounded in church.  I guess I am more scared of the church people who couldn’t care less about their spiritual obligations to other believers, you know those that require us to be humble and gentle; patiently  bearing with each other in love (Ephesians 4:2). Or maybe the one that expects us to bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances we may have against one another (Colossians 3:13)….. Or maybe the ones that require us to pray with and for each other. We have been so consumed by our selfishness that we see other people’s problems as our source of entertainment; gossip! 

The Church is now full of people who congregate at the parking lots to give their views and opinions concerning those that are struggling with sin. Parking spaces are over flowing with Gossip on how who did what and how so and so’s life is headed in a downward spiral, how this marriage is facing challenges of how that relationship is going through a rough patch.  What happened to standing in the gap for those struggling?  What happened to holding each others hands when life hits hard? What happened to simply being present for other believers?  Oh I get it, they are not in your circle of friends. 

My greatest fear,is being weak in the midst of such ‘perfect church people’. See,  I am human and as much as I’d want to be perfect with the perfect life, I have my weaknesses, I have my struggles. Yet in the midst of such perfect Church people, you cannot afford to expose your weaknesses because to them weakness translates to wickedness. Branding weak people as wicked people causes blindness to the real wickedness. Church people, it’s our duty to love each other, it is our duty to cover each others weaknesses and work best to make them better. It is our duty to pray for them! It is not your work to update your Gossip data base on who has fallen again,  or to kick those that are crawling neither is it in your place to judge them. Sometimes it is never a matter of spiritual attention,  just a case of a few corrections, encouragement or showing me the right path. Seek to correct in love! Yet never stop praying for me…  

Church should be the place where no body has to live afraid. 
And as Kirk Franklin puts it in his song Pray for me:

Pray for me, I’m afraid that I’m about to lose it all

Pray for me, I don’t need gravity for tears to fall

You can keep your fancy words and your coloured lies

Nothing super-spiritual not this time, just pray for me

Cause judging me is not helping me to grow

Pray for me, see the wrong I’ve done I already know

Will you love me if I’m dirty and I’ve lost my way

Till the blood is washed me white and I’m no longer grey

If I don’t need your approval will you let me stay, and pray for me

Pray for me [x3]

Pray for me

Please pray for me

Dear Church, Let’s talk Sexual Purity

I have been a Christian all my life, you know by virtue of being born a Christian. I have been a believer for two years now; I just thought I should mention that. Now, from such a young age, my parents took me to Sunday School, Kids Bible Study, they had us (my sisters and I)  watching Christian movies and cartoons. Literally everywhere we turned was The Word. Needless to say, the world was flashing itself before our eyes screaming, ‘TRY ME!  TRY ME!’. Consumption of what the world had to offer introduced me to this thing called SEX! Now up to this age, Church had never taught me about sex. 


Fast forward to when Church actually started teaching me about sex, I hated it!  Don’t get me wrong I did not hate the teachings in the Bible about sex, NO!  I hated how we (particularly the female specie)  were taught about sex. This is why I didn’t like it, our (the female specie remember)  virginity was oftenly equated to a fragile  glass, a sealed envelope and sometimes a glass full of pure water…. As the lessons went on, the fragile glass would be tossed around vigorously with the aim of breaking it. The sealed envelope would move around to as everyone opened like an inch of it and a handful of sand or dirt would be added to the glassful of pure water. The whole point was how sexual encounters with various people defile you, that was fine. Then there was the dreaded question, “Wouldn’t you want to give yourself to your husband whole?  Not a broken glass nor a torn envelop or dirty water? ” Dear Church, WHY? 

That sentence right there is why I hated the sex talks and I have reason to believe that sentence is why young people in churches are struggling with fornincation and other levels of sexual purity!  Why does it have to be that I’ll be a virgin to offer myself to another human being struggling with sin; just like me? Why does my virginity have to be equally proportional to offering myself whole to my husband?  What if I am a virgin but God never called me for marriage?  Is that wasted opportunity?  Young people in churches arguing that since it’s for the spouse (whom they don’t even know about) it’s just physical sexual purity. As long as sex has never reached the penetration point, they can do all other things that entails foreplay and sex and exclude the penetration bit of it. Doesn’t the guys sexual purity matter too?  Does he not have to keep himself for his wife? 

Dear Church, 

 I choose to be sexually pure ;and not just physically sexual purity but all matters that entail sexual purity; not because of my future husband.  He may be a beneficiary of it but he is not the sole reason I do it. I save myself for Christ.  Because He paid for my sins at Calvary I shall honor him with my body and my virginity being part of my body. Because I am aware that whoever is in Christ is a new creation, that He has made me new, whole and complete in Him;  because my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, I have no business defiling this temple of God that He has entrusted me with.  

I choose sexual purity because I love God too much that I want to honor Him with every part of my body that includes being sexually pure and because of this, I choose to follow the teachings of Christ in His word The Bible regarding to sexual purity. 
Love 

Uchey 😘

BE VULNERABLE 

I have a love hate relationship with the state of my natural face. 

My face has all manner of blemish that naturally just found a home on my face. I wear glasses so there is always a dark patch around my eyes, I have such bushy eyebrows which when neglected  occasionally form a uni-brow. I have sensitive and oily skin, yet my face is on it’s own level of sensitivity. This makes simple things like ,hugging someone seem so lethal. Needless to say I deal with breaks out more than I’d want to. 

Allowing everyone to interact with the natural state of my face is; to me;  the most vulnerable state. Every morning I have to gather strength to walk out of the house with half my face covered in pimples from a harsh break out and the other half beautifuly decorated with blemishes. It’s the strength in being vulnerable that births the courage to face another day. 


The state of my face got me thinking about my prayer life.  How many times do I go to God, not to offer my requests nor ask for anything, but to be vulnerable? Do I present my heart in whatever state it’s in to God? when I feel broken, discouraged, discontent, fear, betrayed I mean all those things we find hard to talk about…… Do I present them to God as ugly as it is? 

 Sometimes life just gets so hard and being broken becomes part of who we are. Think of Hannah in 1 Samuel, her state of being barren caused her to be vulnerable before God several times that the priest thought she was drunk. I could only imagine what state she was in, not just the barrenness but having to deal with a co-wife too. If she was a 21st century woman, she’d be that one lady whose Facebook page on Instagram page is full of lamentation quotes or memes. 


The beautiful aspect in being vulnerable especially with God is the assurance that in our weakness, His power is made perfect. His power;  God’s power;  is made perfect…. His power to heal, to mend, to restore, to revive, everything you can think of regarding God’s power is made perfect.  To me that is literally everything I need. 


Until next weekend, let’s learn to be vulnerable before God. 

Thank you all for the support this far,

Keep following and sending in your requests,comments and feedback 

Love Uchey 😘

TAKE A BREAK! 

I was catching up with a friend a few days ago, not long into the conversation he cuts me short and says,  “Uchey, life is hard.  Maybe just frustrating but it is hard. ” 

Do you ever get to that point where life is just frustrating, your vision is no longer clear and you just have a vague idea of where you are going? Gradually, sunrise doesn’t seem like a new opportunity but just another routine day? You feel like you are stuck in a routine….


YOU NEED A BREAK! 


I know at the beginning of the year or at the end of last year (if you function like I do),  majority of us set goals. Long term, short term, immediate whatever kind of goals you set, there are things you want to achieve to improve yourself or your life generally. Yet the one thing we always forget to include in our to do list is when to take a break. 

We oftenly forget that red lights are equally as important as green lights. The more we keep moving without taking breaks, the more worn out we become, we loose sight of our goals and we start bumping into things and tripping over things that we initially wouldn’t have a problem with.  

This is not just for our physical lives but also for our spiritual lives. Most times we want to chase after God, run after Him, keep going. Stop, take a break. Listen to what God has to say. Stop leading worship and  sit in the pews, be fed also, let God pour into you. Take a break. 

Every time I suggest the idea of taking a break to my friends they always have one response,  ‘I don’t think I have money for that’. We have interpreted the whole idea of taking a break to going for a vacation or travelling or something that you will need money for you to do. Which is not so. I have been working on teaching myself how to take breaks on a budget and I will share a few tips that have worked for me some at no cost at all.

  • Take a break from social media. 

I know we all love to keep up with what’s trending,  keep our social accounts updated, have the latest memes and so on and so forth but don’t you think you get so consumed in the social world that your reality slowly fades away? 

Over and over we have heard just how social media is not real. People wait to get to the office to take a photo, they look for the right angel in their houses to take videos, they wait for the day they’ll have a fancy meal to snap that and all the social media back and forth. All these is not real or it’s partially true. 


People are not always transparent on social media and the more you feed yourself on half truths the more you set unrealistic expectations on yourself. Suddenly you feel the need or urge to post certain photos which take you off track from your goals or intended path. Or maybe you get so consumed in your social media community  that you loose track of your real life expectations and goals. 

I have this rule that I delete my social apps for a week or two every month. I take this time to chase after my dreams in a more realistic way, I also take this time to reboot. In that I have my goals and plans on how to achieve them written down, once I am away from social media now I go back to my written plan and re-evaluate, see what has been achieved and what I need to work on. 

Now, social media is not entirely evil it has it’s benefits too but too much of everything is poisonous. Take a week break from social media and see how that works in achieving your goals. By the time you get back on, you have a clear approach to your goals. 

  • Have your goals and plans written down. 

I am a firm believer in writing things down. It’s one thing to have a goal it’s another thing to have a goal written down. I personally write my goals form the end backwards. In that, if the final picture is say owning a chain of restaurants that’s where I start with my goal. If I want a chain that means I’ll have to start with one restaurant at a time, that means I need to know the nitty gritty of running a restaurant. Not having an academic  back ground in anything food related that means I have to get into the books and learn all I need to know about commercial food and hospitality. I also need to know about the financial bit of it and about my competitors. 

Basically, coming to the point I am at, what I should be doing at this stage is looking for and purchasing books on hospitality, accounting, restaurants and the like. 

This has helped me view my huge goals from steps point and killing that whole magnified image to something doable. This has helped me kill unnecessary frustrations because instead of feeling as though I’m not doing anything towards achieving my goals I recognize the tiny steps I am making in the right direction which on the contrary motivates me. 

  • Cut and create 

The greatest part about walking towards achieving our dreams is who we choose to walk with. Who you walk with is as crucial as where you are walking to. 

This may come out as mean but it is true, there are people we entertain in our lives whom we do not need. I’ll give you an example, have you ever had a ‘me too’kind of friend? Those people who do not have independent decisions they just have the ‘me too’ response. 

For example you start saving some cash from your daily usage, they go like ‘me too’, you tell them you want to invest the money you have been saving and they say ‘me too’ , you tell them about your bigger plan and they go like ‘wow, that’s a great idea. I think I’ll do that too’ . That right there is a toxic person especially in your spiritual life.  You are busy seeking God but this person has no intentions of building a relationship with God. (I kinda went off track 😂)

This person does not make independent decisions, this person does not challenge your decisions and chances are this is not the kind of person who will never  call you out when they see you moving off track.  These people are tagging on your dreams they have no individual motivation and will not push you forward incases where you need a little push to move. 

On the contrary, surround yourself with people who challenge you. People whose character and personalities you admire, network and create relationships with people who encourage you, who are aware of their dreams and source of motivation. People who call you out when you go off track.  I get that some times the ‘me too’ can be a really close friend or even family. In such cases, limit the time spent with them. 


These are the few tips that have worked effectively for me. You can try them out and let me know how it goes. Until next weekend, remember the red light is equally as important as the green light. 

God bless. 

COME….. REST

Nearly five years ago,  I was diagnosed with ‘situational’ depression. I was scared. My knowledge of mental health at that age was limited and I was really just scared of the unknown. 

I remember the emptiness, sorrow, sadness and lack of purpose that I had become accustomed to. It was my new normal, it’s like being stuck in a haunted house that feels like home. 


I started my therapy sessions, and I remember the specialist taking me through the sessions but the whole time I thought, ‘what if it doesn’t work?  What if I get worse’.  During one of the sessions, I voiced my ‘what if’s’ and I remember the response,  “what if you allow it to work?  What if you are finally in control of how you feel? “Fast forward, November 2015…. I decide to rededicate my life to Christ. Only problem was I had no idea of how to let go, let God and just rest. I wanted to be driver of my life,  I wanted to drive my spiritual life to God, I wanted to drive my career life, my social life, physical health, happiness literally, I just wanted to be Incharge of everything in my life; big mistake! 

Gradually, things started failing. I had just started taking off in my career path yet everything else in my life was heading south!  I couldn’t pray, I was in an unequally yoked relationship, I cut off close people in my life, I literally never had money on me…. It was just chaotic… I finally decided to change the gear as I continued to drive. 

Just after I broke off the relationship,  I slowly started to relapse back into depression. Having gone through it before, I could tell the red flags from far. I didn’t want that void and that emptiness so I went to God (this is after months of not praying or reading the word) and I had a list of questions for God. Just after I got on my knees by my bed side, one afternoon, I broke down.  If you have gone through any form of depression, you know that breaking down is normal, only this time it felt different.  I wasn’t breaking down because of what I felt inside, I broke down because for the first time in my life, I was letting go. 


I was in that position for nearly 3 hours and immediately I was done, God told me, ‘Come and I’ll give you rest’. Through out that period God laid my heart Mathew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. When life hit hard,  I always went to God for rest. For the second bit of that season God was like, ‘good now you have known how to seek rest, now learn how to let go’. This bit was guided by Mathew 11:29-30 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 

As humans, we always feel the need to take control of our lives. We always want to be the lead singers as we try to impress God. Yet God is telling us that we are not on the stage alone. He didn’t put us on the lime light to humiliate or frustrate us, He wants to be on the stage with us. We may not know the lyrics but with His guidance, He moulds us to endure the task of being a lead singer.  Sometimes, wanting to take lead gets in the way of God working things through you and for you. 


All that baggage you are carrying,God is asking you to lay it at His feet. All the mountains you face and you think it’s your duty to find your way around it,  God says ‘Let me handle it’. The process of giving up control is probably the hardest lesson I have learnt in my whole life yet it’s the most beneficial and beautiful lesson.  I challenge you today, who is driving your life? 

SINGLE’S EDITION (PART 2)

Good morning, 

Did you guys  a lovely week? Comment below let me know how your week was. 

Today’s post is a bit different, because I am not the one who wrote it. You see the way I tell you guys to leave comments below;  thank you to all those who do and those that take it to Whatsapp I am grateful;  so one of you reached out to me via email. It was really just a response to my previous post on  Single’s Valentine but he said something that really had me thinking deeply for two days so I finally wrote back and had him explain what he meant. Why did I opt to share this? I feel like this is the kind of message that every one should listen to here it is, some parts have been edited out because they are a bit personal but the message is still intact:
Hi Uchey, 

I read your post on the single’s valentine, that was some good advice and I must say I love your posts, it’s refreshing to know that there are young ladies who live for Christ not only by words but by deed. I am privileged to have met you and I must say, over and above being bubbly and just hilarious you are wise. Okay away from all that (though you should take seriously what I have said)  I think many many Christians are single or stuck in unhealthy relationships because they are oxes dating donkeys.  

Let’s go to Deutronomy 22:10 where God gives the miscellaneous laws, as my Bible calls them. This one law stood out for me… You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together. Notice God said together meaning if it’s two oxen that’s good, if it’s two donkeys that’s great but an ox and a donkey do not. This is such a random verse I know but stay with me, i’ll explain. 

Uchey I know you are into agribusiness but let me breakdown the characteristics of these two animals to you. An ox is strong, dependent and determined meaning if you are ploughing with an ox you are sure your work will be done in a short period of time, note there is the assurity. Donkeys are also strong just not as strong as the ox, donkeys are known to be stubborn and one last thing donkeys take time in training to trust the owner and the work you want them to do that it won’t cause harm to them. Two donkeys working together is great they will eventually get the work done.  Now imagine a donkey and an ox working together, one is focused on ploughing and finishing the other is here asking questions, surveying the area not being sure if this is safe for them. It’s obvious that the donkey will slow down the ox or in strange circumstances, the ox will have to drag the donkey so it’ll be slowed down because it has extra weight on it;  what I like to call dead weight… 

Another thing I noticed is that My Bible links Deutronomy 22:10 to 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 that says, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelivers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?  And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?…… 

Before I explain this further, remember we talked about that dead weight and carrying it and all, see what Hebrews 12:1 says, Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by some great a cloud of witnesses, LET US LAY ASIDE EVERY WEIGHT,and the sin which so easily ensnares us….. 

This is what I meant by oxen dating donkeys, this guy or girl might be fully focused on Christ, serving, praying,  fasting, manifesting their spiritual gifts and everything kingdom based then there is this other guy or girl who is just a Christian. They are just there, pray occasionally, serve only when they are needed to, are full of complaints about this and that, authorities have done this so and so did that. They are those that are said to be spiritually immature or as Paul puts in on Hebrews 5: 13, for everyone who partakes only if milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe; the NKJV actually says that. Now imagine this mature Christian being with this immature Christian, one keeps dragging the other to pray, to fast, to seek God in certain situations and it will get to a point that even the basic things like reading their Bible and going to church,  you as the mature one will have to drag them to do it.  Now one does not grow because focus has shifted to pulling a donkey. 

Let us now go to the New Testament where it tells us not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. So now you have limited your dating circle to watu wa kanisa (people in the church)  but see this, 2 Corinthians 11:14 and no wonder!  For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.  You see!! There are many people in the church who are not who they look to be. I remember you telling me the other day about the spirit of Jezebel in the church and yes it is true, ungodly alters have been raised by many people in the church so just because I am in church I serve with you in church and I seem to be with you in the same boat, do not be deceived, test the spirit first and pray over your attraction towards them. God gives us a great formula to this He says in 1 John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. If I go indepth on this it’ll be a different sermon from what we were talking about.  

I read that book you sent me on dating and you are right it is good .I particularly  love where he says, pray that God will give you the spirit of discernment, he continues to say, this is not having the knowledge of what is good and evil but discernment is the ability to tell right from what is almost right that is what every one needs and every single person should pray for. There are so many almost right Christians out there but you need to be the right one and ask God to mould the right one for you! I have just remembered, another crucial thing that singles need is an attitude of willing obedience to God. This is where I tell people to LISTEN!!  When God tells you no, do not bother trying to get a number or even ask how he is doing.  It’s a no, shake hands and go!  Be like David in Psalms 119:60 he says to God, I made haste and did not delay to keep your commandments. Keep God’s commandments first then obey, we know that God honors obedience more than sacrifice so simply obey and ask God to reveal His will over your relationships you can even go ahead and ask Him to confirm to you that it is His will for you to be with that person.  I will tell you this Uchey, obey. Before my wife I was a very disobedient Christian, God told me no but I still went on to get numbers and sijui escort them home,tragedy befell me a good one and I was known as that church guy who had dated most girls in church. If I was not obedient to God I do not think I would have found my wife. 

Yes, let me say this I know this is the YOLO generation but we want to have fun in all the wrong ways then just like a miracle settle down and all of a sudden be disciplined in savings, in spending, in prayer and fasting for our spouses and children, be industrious and humble and content. I know we serve a miracle working God but He cannot be mocked. Whatever it is you envision yourself being, work on it now that you are single. You want to be disciplined in saving, do that now when you do not have any responsibilities so to say, you want to work hard and get extra money for your husband’s birthday, start now work extra hard. Fast now when you are single, remember you cannot fast when you are expectant so take the opportunity, be a prayer warrior Now!  Maximize your single season for preparation. And as I said yesterday do not be ashamed to lay down weights if they are dragging you behind. Be it a close friend, be it a crush whatever weight you are carrying lay it down, God will deal with the healing as you go on your way.  This is a pruning period and you need to go through it so that you bear fruits as a Christian. 

That was it.  This was such a profound message that I thought I would share with you guys. 

What do you think, leave a comment below and let me know what it is you think. 

Love 

Uchey 😘

SINGLE’S VALENTINE 

Dear single brothers and sisters, 

Since we are still in the week of love, allow me to share with you my love as a single. My love comes in form of words (refer to previous post) so here is my take on being single and secure. 


First of all,  being single is not a disease or disorder that you have to sympathize with me now that I’m single. Some of us are single because we got dumped, some of us just choose to be single as we wait on our partners and some of us are just single because we find relationships hard and so much unnecessary effort, whatever the situation do not sympathize with us. On the flip side, we who are single throw ourselves pity parties whenever we can. Grab some wine, download some sad RnB’s, grab a blanket and your phone,  now stalk all the lovely couples you know and cry about not being in a relationship. What is your goal?  To enjoy being single or to cry about being single? 

Being single is a season (refer to my post on seasons), it may be bad,  it may be good it all depends on how you view it. I have been single for a while now and I have gathered a few lessons about being single that I’d love to share with you, 

Here we go……

  1. Dear singles, stop with the relationship advice.

I know being single you have all the time to analyze, read about,  research and even write essays about relationships. We feel like we have so much knowledge about relationships but the one bit if wisdom we forget to carry along with our knowledge is that every relationship is unique. 

As singles we have one or two friends who are in relationships and every once in a while we hear them complain about their partners doing this or that and there we are with our relationship encyclopedias ready to work on this relationship wound. Let’s just be honest,  we always want to act judge but we are such biased judges because we really do not care about the other partner’s feelings. And we just want to have our friends with us most of the time. 

I don’t dispute you probably have the knowledge and maybe some past history too but this is different. You are on the outside looking in but only those on the inside know for sure what is going on. You may have at one time been on the inside with probably the person who’s on the inside now but once you got out things changed. The landlord renovated the entire thing,  it isn’t the same anymore. Besides these are different people, you can’t treat a different person like he/she was just like every other person. 

Now,  I get that there are times you’ll have to probably share your insight on certain stuff. Do just that,  give pointers. Give them the formula let them work out the methods themselves. Y’all who are dating,  stop getting dating advice from singles. Talk to those that are actually walking in that direction,  we may have been friends for years but there are things I just cannot help you in. 

For singles, this calls for some other level of discipline. I,  for instance, had to keep reminding myself that I needed to stay away from giving dating advice to those dating. I would open my mouth and go like, “Uchey, you are not dating, what do you know”. I had to learn this the hard way. Learn the discipline of being on the sidelines. 

2. Heal first then move on!! 

This is specifically for those that are single as a result of a relationship that ended. I’m gonna share my story to explain this point. 

Once upon a time,  I dated a guy for a little over five years. More like five and a half years. When you are with someone for five years, you forget how it feels being alone and once you are alone you become dysfunctional. I would really love to say that I got over him immediately and moved on as if nothing happened but let’s be a little bit real, it took me months. There are days I would find myself calling him just to find out how he is doing and I’d hate myself for calling him and when the healing process for hard, I figured I should probably date another guy. Very very stupid idea right there!

Once you date someone for whatever amount of time,  being alone becomes hard after that. You have to deal with that and most of us are afraid of the voids, the tears and having to detach. Yet that is what it takes to regain your happiness. It took me an entire year after that to acknowledge that I had not healed and I needed to heal. How did I do it?  I spent so much time alone, I literally withdrew myself from friends and the world generally. I had some ME time and I prayed and fasted and just asked God to restore my joy. As a result of this,  I became confident in my skills, who I am and even more confident in being single and actually knowing why I choose to be single. 

Another thing I learnt about this healing time, this is that point where you always just want to reach out to your ex’s. It may or may not be immediately but it will definitely happen. If you are not careful you will end up reconsidering dating all over again because the void of being alone is just too much and you don’t wanna go through it then you keep remembering what you had and how it felt so nice now you wanna reach out and patch things up. This is how I see it,  if I’ll patch things up with an ex, we both have to go through the healing process and I need to too. We cannot patch things up when we have baggage from when we were together. Heal then we can move on. 

3.Stop making idols of relationships

Some of us singles want so badly to be in relationships that we make idols of relationships. 

What is an idol really?  Anything that takes the position of God in your life (words taken directly from my pastors mouth). I was once that girl, I practically worshiped being in a relationship. I just wanted to have a guy. Say, God answered my prayers then and gave me a guy,  that guy would have been my idol. 

As a single person, your whole focus should be on building your relationship with God first. Be secure in Christ,  grow as  a Christian, be of service to God and work on your relationship with God first. What this does to you it makes you look at having a boyfriend or girlfriend as a blessing and not as your everything. The same things apply to having a good job, growing your career,  having a great family,  having superb friends. All these are blessings and not your everything. 

It is so sad that in this day and age we have people committing suicide because their guy or girls left them, because they got fired and the like. This is because this things took up the position of God in your life and now they are gone. God is everlasting. 

It is sad that in this generation, we want good grades, a great job,  a perfect partner, a great life and then we want to add God to the equation to make everything balance out right.  A few posts here and there then a post about thanking God so my life is complete, it doesn’t work like that my dear. God needs to be the centre of everything. 

4. Work on yourself!

Now that you are single and you have all the time,  work on building yourself. Know your strengths, be aware of your weaknesses. Work on restoring your joy, cut or add some weight,  learn your passions, be of service just work on your wellness and being a whole complete person. 

And when you are blessed with another relationship, you will be a whole healthy person inside and outside.
Share with me what has helped you through your single season and some lessons you have learnt:

Leave a comment below and don’t forget to share 😊😊

Love,

Uchey 😘😘